Isabel

My little girl would be eleven. When she was born I thought my heart would burst I loved her so much. Her Dad and Grandma were in the room too. Her Dad felt the same. Her Grandma beamed with pride. She cried as she held her beautiful granddaughter in her arms. They both thanked me for giving birth to her. Her Nina and Uncle are the only other people who got to meet her. I cradled my baby girl in my arms, everything was perfect, I thanked God for this experience.

Three hours and forty-five minutes later she took her last breath in my arms. Our hearts were crushed and broken. I was there for her first breath and her last. I spent every minute of her life with her. She knew only love and peace. I thanked God for this experience.

I miss her so much!

October 15th

Remembering our babies...

Here it comes again...
My very sad months. I have learned to survive October only to drown in November.
I'm going to approach it a little differently this year. I'm going to fasten my seatbelt and take the wheel. It's my pain, I'm gonna own it.

27 years and two days ago I said I do to my soul mate. 685 days ago he...

Random Thoughts

My first thought, though redundant, is... I can't believe how long it's been since my last update!

Sorry

If my daughter had lived she would be ten years old and I still picture her as the newborn baby that took her last breath in my arms.

I miss my mom and my husband.

It's been two years since I lost him and I'm still not sure I can do this alone.

I know that the bible forewarned me but... it's still shocking when the ones that hurt you the most are members of your own household, your own family.

I really, really miss my friends.

I love. I do. After all the hurt common sense would help me reason that without love there would be so much less hurt. But I can't help it... I love! And I love to love.

I am blessed.

It's freezing here!

So much going on inside. Can't be put into words. Is this sanity?