Faith

It's been six years since the loss of my daughter. I don't think I could have made it through that time without faith. My whole-hearted faith in God and belief in the resurrection promise helped me keep my sanity and hope. I also had the loving support of my husband, family and congregation. I hadn't realized just how blessed I am.

Why this blog?

I wanted to create a place I could come to and feel safe to mourn, to vent and to go on. When you lose a baby everyone "knows how you feel" is "So sorry" and reminds you (if you can) that "You could always have more". It would be nice if any of this could possibly help you feel better about just having lost a beautiful life, but it doesn't. Even if you have other children, it doesn't replace the one(s) you've lost. I think that to relate you have to be a mom who has lost your own baby, whether in utero, in your arms or in their crib. Having a life developing inside you even gives dad a disadvantage in understanding. The constant whirlwind of emotions that go on inside my head and heart. Some can be voiced, some not. For a very long time I felt alone. I have very recently found a website "Honored Babies" where I was able to post a memorial for free. I saw so many others and even made contact with another mom (who's wounded heart was on the same day, though different year than my own), hence the inspiration for this blog. Please feel free to comment, as that is what this site is for.

Lyrics In Loving Memory Of My Isabel

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you are far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
Where a moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,


I don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep,
Cause I miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing,
Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do,
I still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating,
And I wondering what you are dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you are seeing,
Then I kiss your eyes and thank god we're together,
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever and forever forever


And I don't want to miss one smile,
I don't want to miss one kiss,
I just want to be with you right here with you,
Just like this, I just want to hold you close,
I feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment,
For all of the rest of time


*************


Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the

dance