I remember when I was a kid and I could trust completely.
The kind of trust that would let me close my eyes turn around and just fall back. I knew that the person I trusted (mom, dad, friend, etc.) would catch me. I never doubted it. So I fell.
Back when I thought that every woman could become pregnant. When I though that every pregnancy resulted in a live, take-home baby. When I thought that my parents would never die. When I thought that my friends and family would always live close by. Back when I would have never thought that an entire month (or two) of every single year could send you back to square one in the grieving process.
Sometimes it's not so easy to just fall. To close my eyes and know that someone will catch me and help me back to my feet. I guess I know better now. So I stand. I stand and keep going and try to extend a hand along the way.
Somewhere to talk about the feelings of having lost my child, my babies. In memory of Isabel.
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4 comments:
Believe me, I hear you on this one. Loud and clear.
Sweetie, you're catching yourself. Didn't you know? You are strong and though you might need a little hand hold to grab onto from time to time, you have ALWAYS been catching yourself. Your family and friends were there along the way to just teach you how to do it.
I can't imagine the pain that this season must bring you, but know that I am thinking of you and that I KNOW you are a strong and graceful woman who can lift herself up.
I guess that's why we have childhood memories. We learn to relearn what we did as kids.
Keep the faith.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/
http://www.mikeleonen.com/
((Hugs)) I long for that innocence again myself.
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