Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Photo By S

I'm back. Really, where else would I be? I don't want to be. Honestly. I don't. However, I have a little one, a little one who happens to need me. So here I am. Half of me anyway, my better half gone, to keep going on for my little one.

Time has elapsed and as I struggle to keep the walls up and solid they keep slipping and softening, conforming to their own agenda. I have glimpses of him and what we had and I crumble. Crumble, like an infant that cannot be pacified. I can't dwell too long if I expect to keep a measure of my sanity. I tremble at the thought of going through life without him. Alas, I grieve.

I don't want to come across as ungrateful. I am thankful for what I still have. I have my little one. I have a home, a car, a pulse and faith.

I'm going on a road trip. I think I need a change of scenery, if only temporary. It's going to be great for the kids too!

If I told you now what would I write about in my next post?


niobe said...

Thinking of you and, though I know that grief is something you carry with you, I hope the change of scenery brings you some measure of light and peace.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I cannot imagine the continuing grief. I am glad that you are pushing on, though. Do it for your son, but also do it for yourself. You are just as deserving of a happy life as he is.

I hope the road trip is everything you want it to be.

Angel Mom said...

You are on my mind so much. ((Hugs))

Any chance your road trip is bringing you my way? :-) Enjoy and be safe.