I'm back. Really, where else would I be? I don't want to be. Honestly. I don't. However, I have a little one, a little one who happens to need me. So here I am. Half of me anyway, my better half gone, to keep going on for my little one.
Time has elapsed and as I struggle to keep the walls up and solid they keep slipping and softening, conforming to their own agenda. I have glimpses of him and what we had and I crumble. Crumble, like an infant that cannot be pacified. I can't dwell too long if I expect to keep a measure of my sanity. I tremble at the thought of going through life without him. Alas, I grieve.
I don't want to come across as ungrateful. I am thankful for what I still have. I have my little one. I have a home, a car, a pulse and faith.
I'm going on a road trip. I think I need a change of scenery, if only temporary. It's going to be great for the kids too!
If I told you now what would I write about in my next post?
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3 comments:
Thinking of you and, though I know that grief is something you carry with you, I hope the change of scenery brings you some measure of light and peace.
I cannot imagine the continuing grief. I am glad that you are pushing on, though. Do it for your son, but also do it for yourself. You are just as deserving of a happy life as he is.
I hope the road trip is everything you want it to be.
You are on my mind so much. ((Hugs))
Any chance your road trip is bringing you my way? :-) Enjoy and be safe.
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