Rated G

I borrowed the idea from Niobe who borrowed it from someone else. Anyway, this site rates your blog and even lets you know why you received said rating.

This blog is rated G. The rating was based on use of these two words: Pain (x1) and Hurt (x2).

So I guess blogger thinks that the ravings of a mother in mourning desperately trying to dignify and hold on to the memory of her babies is...For Everyone!

Baby Remembrance

I found a link to a new site from Niobe. Here you can have your baby's date remembered. There's a page for each month with a nice little memorial picture (usually candles or flowers). You can link your blog to your baby's remembrance. It's small and simple but feels more personal than the larger sites. DD responds to requests promptly and warmly. Check it out.

Forgive and Forget

I've got the first part down but I honestly need help on the second.

I just can't do it. I know the scriptures. I know. I just can't. How do you wipe out a memory? And then my personality is such that when the thought comes back to mind, I can't help but feel the pain or anger all over again.

I can forgive, why not forget? I forget everything else. As Msfitzita brought out I'm a prime candidate for Alzheimer's. I just wish I had selective memory.

How do you open your heart completely and have unconditional love for someone when you can't forget what they've done?

Maybe I haven't actually forgiven. I thought I had. I wish I could.

Life would be so much easier if I could just forget.

In Memory Of Liam

Kate wrote a beautiful tribute to her son Liam.

Liam entered the world on May 5th 2007 along with his twin brother Ben and left...too soon.

I'm Fine

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m FINE! I could jog all the way to Texas and back…but my daughter can’t! She never could! Oh..God…I’m so mad! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know WHY Shelby’s life is over! I wanna know HOW that baby will EVER know how wonderful his mother was. Will he EVER know what she went through for him? Oh God I wanna know WHY? WHY? Lord..I wish I could understand! No….No!….No!! NO! It’s not suppose to happen this way! I’m supposed to go first! I’ve always been ready to go first! I don’t think I can take this..I .. I don’t think I can take this! I just wanna hit somethin’! I just wanna hit somebody..till they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!



Movie: Steel Magnolias

Scene by: Sally Field

Misunderstood

Unfortunately, (probably because I suck at blogging/writing) my previous post has been misconstrued.

My feelings are not and have not been hurt.

What I thought I said, meant was; a) I was glad to have been tagged (a first for me.) b) I thought the the meme was confusing too, I just did it anyway. c) Had I thought about it I may have had the same opinion as Niobe. I just didn't think about it. d) After reading Niobe's post, I agree. e) I am nonetheless still glad that Tracey tagged me.

I didn't mean to whine or portray in any way that my feeling were hurt. They weren't. As a matter of fact the comments caught me off guard. I had to reread the post myself.

I don't in any way want to detour anyone else from doing it. And if you still wanted to do it Angel Mom, I for one would be interested in reading your answers.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Meme Misery

I was tagged a few days ago for a rather confusing meme. I had never been tagged for anything before. Though I didn't quite understand the relationship of all the questions, I did it anyway. Maybe because I just wanted to have participated in one. Maybe I thought "well...it's all in fun." Regardless of the reason I did, I did. I then tagged four people.

I shouldn't have.

If I wasn't sure about it, I shouldn't have passed it along. Duh. Did this dawn on me? NO. At least not until I read Niobe's post. I guess I could/should have killed it, I just didn't think of it.

I do thank Tracey for thinking about me.

It looks like this meme will finally be put out of it's meme misery.